12/17…..The Appendage of Tech to Body or The Appendage of Body to Tech
—–My realities between real life and tech were becoming skewed. I didn’t need to live in any one place as I could communicate with my friends and family through email, text messages, social media, etc. Living in one spot felt inconvenient. Dedicating to a lover or a few friends in the “physically being with them sense” felt inconvenient, not efficient, and limiting. My attention span grew less. My anxieties and depressions increased. I couldn’t keep from thinking about my digital communications and social media and what I could be doing somewhere else that would make me happy. I often felt like I was just a fly buzzing around looking for the next poop stimulating adventure. There was too much distraction constantly swirling around in my head from my tech connections. I had trouble focusing on anything for too long and would grow impatient constantly and relied often on grandiose ideas that spurred out of nowhere and didn’t really focus on anything but my short-term well-being. It was harder for me to make new friends as the ease of digital friends and that world was much easier to handle and others were feeling and yearning for that comfort zone too. I started to feel more stress and anxiety around social situations that resulted in me wanting to take off and go live differently. And when those social outings went on for too long, anxiety and stress would take over about how I would end these outings and go back to my comfort zone of my social devices and digital world.
If you’re constantly trying to make yourself available to be exposed to people you want to be around, how do you turn it off and ever value people when in fact you are around them? The urge to connect always to “others” is never ending and it is easy to grow impatient in one’s presence when the looming desire and fantasy of other connections are waiting for you through your devices in social media. It is as addicting as anything else in our society. It is taking over our brains and attention and our focus and actually limiting those things too by the obsessive approach to connect with others but not actually really “connecting” with them. It’s weird.
9/17…..Enlightenment Through Breakdown of Body and Tech
—–The biggest feeling of dread came from having all my pictures and videos gone from my day. I had been posting on all the social networks of Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram what I was doing, where I had been, and what I was processing. I suddenly felt like nobody would care because they wouldn’t see a blip in their feed. I suddenly actually felt alone and like I hadn’t accomplished anything. I suddenly felt stupid for admitting to myself that I was feeling these things. How was I to go about my life without proving to others what I had done and what was important to me? It was an awkward moment and here I am descending this wonderful mountain in an utterly beautiful setting while suddenly feeling like what I was doing didn’t matter if it’s not expressed through tech.
We think we have these routines and we think we are defined by our bodies, our tech in our phones and social networking, but just like that it could change and we are left with a non-physically capable version of our isolated from tech selves. There really is no right or wrong for following linear positive energy streams that are easy to navigate. How can you really blame ourselves for doing that and wanting and believing in correct paths or answers, or in taking the path of least resistance? If anything, we are a cluster-fuck of energy going in all sorts of directions that have nothing to do with whether we are accepted or judged or however we are presenting ourselves as “living.” How are we really different from the man who is homeless sleeping in the street vs the Buddhist in the mountains vs our avatar on social networking…
12/12…Terminator Two perspective. Smart glasses.
2/12…The human interaction in the age of smartphones
10/11…The 10 things that are killing indie music in 2011
–Response…Hipsters; cool despite the smell
5/11…How the internet is changing
–Response to how the internet is changing
The Avid Fan 
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