There will be a day when our bodies will look more like something from the Borg in “Star Trek: Next Generation” vs anything of what we look like today. The Borg is a species in space that is simply known as the collective. The phrase “resistance is futile” is commonly associated with them. They are somewhat human, mostly machine. They have mostly human faces but mechanical components for their limbs and of course their brains have been networked with technology to the point where there are no individuals on the Borg but only the collective consciousness of the whole collective. Star Trek (specifically The Next Generation) is a great show and they highlight well what our species is moving towards.
Until the days of the Borg arrive and we have no choice, I strive to not ignore technology but to constantly maintain a balance with it in how it affects every faucet of my life (because it DOES and it will only get more intense as companies like Google and Apple take over more of the world!). I also strive to recognize what my own body is telling me. How do I get too obsessed with physical and mental activity and “getting somewhere” and “achieving?” How do I get too stuck on “to do lists” and going too intensely in one direction? How does my body tell me what I’m doing is perhaps not balanced and depleting for me?
I was on a couple week camping trip lately and I pushed myself hard for it. I wanted every day to be as perfect as the last. I wanted every night to be under the stars after having amazing experiences during the day. I wanted to hike everywhere, talk to everyone, and take in all that I could. I wanted to ascend mountain peaks, have transcendental experiences, show the world through social networking what I was doing, and write lengthy self-reflection journals into the night. I wanted it all! However, sometimes when we continually grab for it all we miss something. We miss rest, we miss creativity that comes from boredom, we miss taking deep breaths, we miss relaxation, we miss down time, we miss not falling into social norm trances of the status quo; even if the status quo is something like camping! Overall, we easily surge in one energetic direction until it goes out somewhere and when not in balance we can miss out on a whole array of things when we’re so narrowly focused no matter what it is.
About a week into my trip I had many days in a row of utter stimulating activity. Each day I was planning 7 to 15 mile hikes mixed in with connecting with people mixed in with driving all around, mixed in with sleeping in caves or in an uncomfortable tent, etc. I was in Taos, New Mexico on a leisurely walk with a friend in Taos Pueblo forest when my ankle snapped. I have this re-occurring right ankle injury that is a sprain that happens about once or twice a year. The last time it happened was when I was helping my second friend of the day move their furniture. The time it happened before that I was doing gymnastics in a stressful setting, the time before that I was carrying too many things and walking down a crazy steep street, the time before that I was training too hard and I jumped awkwardly on a medicine ball/wobbly fitness ball. The theme is most definitely over exertion and as the years have gone by, I have hurt it less as I really try to recognize when I’m going too big or too non-stop. The most recent occurrence a few weeks ago was no different. I felt invincible on my trip and was not taking the proper rest and pushing too hard. I was walking behind my friend in the forest on a very mild hike when I felt the familiar “pop” on my ankle. I was embarrassed because I was with a friend and we were having a good time and now I was going to be hobbled for the rest of the time. I was initially crushed that I had somehow “failed.”
My friend recommended I put my foot in the freezing cold river water that was flowing magically around us. She then sang medicine songs and performed reiki on me and found me hiking sticks. We did this a few times as we continued our slow walk downhill. The injury slowed me down but it also gave me an opportunity to experience different things. Conquest of the hike is something I am easily drawn to but now I was able to spend a different energy presence with my friend and learned how to use a walking stick appropriately (which is an amazing tool for hiking by the way!). When we got back to the car and parted ways I decided that I was going to take the pressure off myself and not try and camp that night. Instead I booked a hostel in town and for the next 20 hours I slepted, ate, iced, read, wrote, and had a very restful time. It was interesting to do this and notice how much ease and calmness burst through in me. It took off the edge of thinking I needed to “accomplish” on my trip. It allowed me to actually sit and be still and do something I love to do which is write and reflect. Initially, it was so anxious ridden for me to think about not continuing my, many days in a row, camping outside streak. Weird how we get in these stressful expectation ridden trances even for things that are supposed to be fun and relaxing.
When I continued on my camping trip just the next night the refreshing feeling I felt was unimaginable. I was on such a high from my body failing me and it forcing me to take a break. Our bodies as machines need tender love and care. Our brains need to be put on time out sometimes as they get carried away with routine of thought and looping neurotic pursuits.
Three days later I decided to test my ankle and hike a 14k foot mountain in Mount Blanca and Ellington right by the Great San Dune National Park. Before you scoff and claim that I fell into the same trap I was in but only a few days earlier, note that I was setting an intention to actually experience this hike rather than conquer it. Plus, I had my magical hiking stick from Taos that my friend gave me and it was amazing how using that made my body feel so much better. I climbed for most of the day. I took copious amounts of pictures and videos with my new favorite Snapchat app (really, it’s not just for young kids and super convenient for taking and sharing videos). On my way down I really felt like a mix between Gollum and a billy goat as I was using my handy stick to descend steep cliffs edges and probably go where most people wouldn’t. I was super careful and was loving my stick. Still utterly amazed how magically and powerful this stick felt in my hands, helping me as a long third limb in a way to ground me and re-distribute and carry my body weight as I saw fit.
In my somewhat rugged climb down I noticed at one point that I had broken my phone. Stupid me for keeping it in my pocket as I’m climbing on unmovable, jagged rocks. A feeling of desperation came over me in that now I had no way of driving home with digital maps or finding the next camping place or listening to music or communicating with anyone, etc. Luckily it was basically my last night out anyway and, if anything, I only had to cut my trip short one day. However, the biggest feeling of dread came from having all my pictures and videos gone from my day, before I had gotten back to camp and able to save them through data connection. For much of this two week period, I had posted on all the social networks of Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram what I was doing, where I had been, and what I was processing. I suddenly felt like nobody would care because they wouldn’t see a blip in their feed. I suddenly actually felt alone and like I hadn’t accomplished anything. I suddenly felt stupid for admitting to myself that I was feeling these things. How was I to go about my life without proving to others what I had done and what was important to me? It was an awkward moment and here I am descending this wonderful mountain in an utterly beautiful setting while suddenly feeling like what I was doing didn’t matter if it’s not expressed through tech.
It didn’t take long for this attitude to change. Again, you can’t trust your brain with anything. It will freak out when the ease or routine of something is out of order or threatened. It is very much a spoiled, selfish child and doesn’t usually have your overall best interests in mind. Spending more time thinking about things, analyzing, being in your head does not usually lead to better decisions. More importantly, it is better to be able to get out of your head. That is where a true form of enlightenment lies but it is so hard given our cultural values that refer to your brain and the thought process as superior to anything else. If anything, consult the brain obviously but listen more to your gut and your heart and people that exhibit qualities you admire.
I sat down in a cool little cave rocky place and smoked a bowl of cannabis to take a chill pill for a minute and re-center and redirect my energy. By the time I began hiking again my feelings had dramatically switched. I was alone now in this beautiful place with only nature and myself. There was no way I could get ahold of anyone. I couldn’t just pull out my phone and take pictures. The pictures would only now be taken in my mind and remember as good old fashioned experiences that I could tell people about. The pressure of taking pictures and showcasing where I had been was off of me. It felt good. I felt lighter. I felt like I didn’t need to be anywhere or impress anyone. I could notice things like rock formations and flowers more and in a different way that was centered around my pleasures and excitements and my own experience. I also could ask someone in my camping area for a map and write down directions for driving home the eight hours the next day. What a concept; “writing down.” I strolled the rest of the way back to my camp. It took a lot longer than usual as I was making sure to walk slow so as to not hurt my ankle but also because I was taking everything in. There was nobody else there with me. A certain “Walden in the Woods” feeling came over me and it felt wonderful. It dramatically made me feel like a kid again. The internet didn’t come out until I was a freshman/sophomore in high school. I didn’t have a cell phone until my freshman year of college. It was a blast back to how happy I was as a younger person and how I used to function. I felt fortunate for this experience and to my surprise felt an incredible ease and stresslessness.
It is weird to think about who we were and where we came from and what we are now and how “normal” life functions for us. I think about my 95 year old grandparents and the world they grew up in and all that that they saw and how they’ve interacted with tech and their bodies over the last 10 to 20 years. It is easy to think that life heads in a linear path of energy direction. We are always cocooning and becoming something better right? I don’t disagree with this fully but I do question that cocooning couldn’t work as well in the opposite direction. We think we have these routines and we think we are defined by our bodies, our tech in our phones and social networking, but just like that it could change and we are left with a non-physically capable version of our isolated from tech selves. When things break down we are forced to figure something out which leads to a breakthrough of how we now have to deal with life. Sometimes, we go further ahead but sometimes we go backwards. There really is no right or wrong for following linear positive energy streams that are easy to navigate. How can you really blame ourselves for doing that and wanting and believing in correct paths or answers, or in taking the path of least resistance? If anything we are a cluster-fuck of energy going in all sorts of directions that have nothing to do with whether we are accepted or judged or however we are presenting ourselves as “living.” How are we really different from the man who is homeless sleeping in the street vs the Buddhist in the mountains vs our avatar on social networking? We have created these entities and these lifestyles that we think define us but the true content of what defines us is not something that can so easily be destroyed by a fall or a phone break. That is gone in an instant and then we have nobody left to impress or answer to but ourselves. Who are you defined as then? Would you have foundation to stand on if parts or all of your body and tech were taken away? It is obviously not an easy one to answer and nobody really knows these things until they happen to them or until they make a grand intention to switch things up. The Borg physicality and mentally is looming in the not so distant future. I’m not saying the Borg are wrong but just that would you rather be defined as a Borg or a human?
The Avid Fan 
Leave a comment