Trusting our partner and seeing beyond ourselves

Jonah Hall:

Lots of truth in that article.  We have to look to ourselves first, before we look outward at the other person.  We have to know what triggers our own emotions and manage them without accusing the other person.  We have to accept that love and relationships are work, not romanticized play, not the drugged-stage of infatuation or falling in love.  We have to stop watching romantic comedies and expecting our lives to mirror them. We have to talk and listen to tell each other harsh truths about ourselves and our own weaknesses if we want to grow with the other person, and get beyond the ego-driven idea that we are all great people who always deserve great things.

If we need less and act with more self-awareness and thoughtfulness (toward our own emotions) and if we are better to ourselves and our own needs and aware of our own self-destructive patterns, we allow ourselves to love and share fully.  Anyway, those are some things I’ve learned, and I’ll continue to learn until I’m dead.

Last night, my issue with getting wrapped up and obsessive about the NBA playoffs ended up turning into an argument with my partner.  After things got volatile and really ugly for a few minutes, we were able to describe what was happening and deal with it.  Over the years, we’ve figured out how to resolves things within an hour or so, rather than let them linger and have bad weekends or extended arguments.  We trust each other much more than we did three or four years ago, and it helps us deal with our problems.


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