It’s everybody else’s fault and I’m so noble

Leach:

Well thanks for the well wishing. I guess the funny thing is that the reason you’ve haven’t heard your friend happy in a very long time is because she doesn’t call you when she’s happy.  Did you know that she has a hormonal imbalance? It called Pre-Menstrual Dysphonic Disorder.  It involves severe bouts of depression and rage and puts people in a sense of unreality where they can’t reason.  It can last three days or three weeks. We’ve gone through this every month for about 6 months. We went to see a doctor about it, he gave her the option for two different types of medication. She accepted and then afterwards backed out. There were red flags for me where I recognized that she was having an episode. One of them was her getting angry at me and going to the city. I can think of one time when she went into the city while not in the throes of a hormonal haze. So naturally, I am not going to be well spoken of during this time.

I have problems. I have a depression issue, and I take medication for it. I have a drinking problem, which is why I’ve been in detox for the last two days.  Your friend draws many conclusions (as I’m sure you’re aware) about things she’s unsure of. That’s why when we first broke up, she decided I had gotten back together with an ex. It wasn’t true, but to this day, that’s how she insisted it happened. The stories you heard about me had some basis in truth, but the connecting pathways to a conclusion were fabricated by her. Not because she’s evil or manipulative, but because it was the only way for her to make sense of things. And the hormone problem doesn’t help in this. I don’t know what she’s told you, but this breakup is the result of your friend refusing to accept the help she needs for the imbalance.

As far as breaking out wedding pictures, I’m pretty sure that was so I could show you all how fat I used to be. And mentioning my ex-wife? I’m thirty years old, we were together for 7 years, she’s going to pop up in conversation. I don’t recall putting your friend down in front of you, but of I did I’m sure I was simply teasing. I was trying to win you all back that night. In fact, I remember trying to speak with all of you individually and tell you that I know you had heard a lot of bad things, but that I loved Jenny with all my heart and wanted you to know that she was safe with me.

I’m sorry all you can think of when you think of your friend and I are all the horrible things you heard. The truth is that we spent 96% of our time laughing and in love. I’m broke and homeless, and it’s freezing outside. The scumbag thing to do would be to fake it and stay with Jenny for the food and shelter. But I haven’t. I elected for this bullshit. What does that tell you?

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