Justifying my own loves

Lyon Keating:

Guatemala

  • Am leaving and don’t want to be with you, not because of you but because I want to follow my love and reason I feel I was put on this earth.  If I don’t jump fully into this, resentment will build up inside of me and I won’t fully take in what this trip is suppose to mean in my life.
  • What do you need, balls in your court, do you still want to be with me.

 

Relationships

  • Very incompatible with traditional style relationships, view other friends relationships as nightmarish.  Two people should come together because they value what the other stands for, who they hang out with, their lifestyle, etc.  They should not come together out of a desire to form what they want to create.  What they create as a couple should be an extension of what they’ve created for themselves in their lives.  If these things don’t align up then there has to be more compatible people out there.
  • Need to feel a sense of individuality, that we both have things we do and don’t put an over reliance on each other, in this sense I don’t view my relationship as my top priority, as my own emotions and feelings and desires make me feel more deeply connected to my pursuits than to deepening intimate relationships.

 

Looking ahead

  • I value freedom to pursue happiness as one of the most important ideas in my life.  I’ve recently done things in my life (education, saved up money, etc.) that have fully enabled me to pursue this.  The process has taken me since I was 19 and I want to jump in and do a full cannonball.  In this sense, looking ahead beyond 3 to 4 months is hard for me to do as I really don’t know where I’ll be or where my freedom will take me.  This is an immensely strong feeling in me and I’m afraid that if you are looking for long term answers or try to quell these strong yearnings inside of me I will probably disappoint you which makes me feel very sad that I’m not fulfilling your expectations but ultimately makes you probably feel much worse.
  • Please don’t sacrifice your own happiness to make us work.

 

Others

  • What do you see in my life that you feel negatively contributes to me.
  • You=boring/unfulfilling job, living with messy boys, debt/inability to travel and have freedom/and not doing all that you can to combat this, making a change of lifestyle that you feel uncomfortable with, figuring out your period/depression/anxiety mindsets

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