8/12…Sit and think and think beyond…(Found in Writing to Write and Then to Write Some More)

17 08 2012

Lyon Keating:

Why aren’t the A’s winning more?  It sucks to be a wild card contender and everyone else has to lose.  So much pressure.  Will I head back to the bay area if the A’s make the playoffs?  Why does Melky Cabrera do steroids?  God, don’t people learn that it’s not paying out anymore to take performing enhancement drugs.  The gig is up.  Can’t wait to go home.  Is my home actually in San Francisco or Philadelphia now?  I love the comfort of my Philly home.  I love the fact that I have a big screen TV and have room to have some things and it is cheap yet has most of the elements of a vibrant urban city like a San Francisco or equivalent.  I don’t have many friends but I’ve spent a majority of my life constantly with friends.  It’s nice to be a bit isolated for once.  I can have friends if I want friends, it’s just that I have a couple friends here that I really do care about and I think that’s all I need for now.  San Francisco is where most of friends and heart is?  Ah the possibilities of what CA brings?!  The ‘social network’ had it right when they claimed that it’s just cool to be in CA.  You gotta be in CA if you can help it.  One day I’ll get back there.  2013 has some sweeping changes.  When does a year not have sweeping changes?  Hopefully, I’ll never look back on a year in my life and not notice some positive sweeping changes.

Mitt Romney blow goats.  Geez I fall to the dark side in my hate when I get to thinking about popular republican controlling social issue ideology.  Does it still count as resorting to the dark side when in fact you resort to the dark side to fight the dark side?  It’s not like I’m committing dark side acts by choice.  If you don’t commit a little bit to the dark side does that mean the dark side will inevitably win (I just said dark side a lot)?  What if Harry Potter just sat back and watched Voldemort take shit over?  What if you play the Lakers and see them ‘flopping’ yet you don’t flop?  Doesn’t Harry Potter get destroyed and the Lakers always win if they keep on flopping and you don’t in turn start flopping yourself?  Did Melky have no other choice than to do steroids and compete vs the countless others that aren’t caught doing it?  Why is this so complicated?  Why don’t they just test athletes like all the time?  Stupid MLB.  I wish I could jump on a dragon boat across a rainbow and defeat Voldemort without lifting a finger and have the Lakers listen to me when I simply tell them to stop flopping.

People in Minnesota are so fat.  They’re so white.  Fat and white is the new fad here apparently.  So is being overwhelming nice without the passive aggression, polite, modern day racism (take that southern United States).  I study massage now and can’t help but look at people’s bodies constantly.  Sizing them up to see how I would massage their muscles.  It’s a shame that such overly huge people don’t try and make an effort to not be so fat.  It’s much harder to find and touch muscles through whale blubber.  I don’t look forward to it when I massage.  Maybe I should.  Maybe I should only massage fatties because they probably need it the most.  In the small population that I have worked on they always immensely enjoy it.  Society doesn’t promote touching a fat body.  It is much harder for them to get touched as it is not attractive.  By massaging these people I would probably be increasing my chances of somebody liking my technique.  I hope people in Minnesota stop eating so much.  I’d rather have to earn my massage praise.

I just bought Vibram, five fingers shoes.  Couldn’t help it.  Just read “Born to Run” and I can’t help but join the fad.  Is it still a fad when it is obviously good for you to do something and you’ve just recently been exposed to it?  Fads seem to me to only represent when people just do things for no reason other than that they are cool and everyone else is doing them.  I love my new shoes.  I feel like spider man in them.  When I was little I used to think my shoes made me fast.  These shoes definitely make me feel like a ninja.  I feel like I can fly away in them and nobody can keep up with my fleeting feetsies as I distract you with my feet and then quickly walk past you.  Watch out non five fingered shoes world.  Now, alls I need is to make them socially acceptable.  It’s sort of like wearing tights out in public.  Oh well, at least I’m not showing my bulge to people.  Blah, stupid tight jeaned hipsters.

What thoughts do I pay attention to and what thoughts do I dismiss without having them take up a millisecond of brain space?  What thoughts do I have that I don’t even know I have because I discard them before they even appear?  Is that possible?  We have tens of thousands of thoughts a day.  What makes one more important than the other?  My brain thought filter functions differently based on what emotions I’m feeling.  Based on what stimulates I put in my body.  The filter opens up slightly when I am drunk, when I am stoned, when I’ve had coffee and feel ultra neurotransmitters firing.  It opens up greatly when I’m on pain medication, when I’m on hallucinogenic drugs, when I’m stressed, when I have endorphins pumping through me.  What do I think about when I sit to think about?  What should I pay attention to?  Are thoughts like people in that all are created equal and are deserving of being allowed to pursue their own happiness?  What if your thoughts are in Chinese?  Does that mean they’re communist and can be shut down by the government when they decide that they’ve had enough of facebook?  Thoughts come and go and make us mad and happy and all in between.  They allow us to have internal dialogues in our mind and nobody has to know what we are thinking.  It’s true freedom.  Acted out it’s not true freedom because somebody could not like what we’re thinking and doing and thus constrict us, although, whatever, act it out!

What does one really think about?  How many of us think about our thoughts only through a narrow filter and never allow ourselves to think beyond?  If we never put ourselves in new and filter altering situations we will be doomed to always think the same.  That’s too limiting and breeds resentment and bitterness.  Shouldn’t we think differently more as we get older and become more experienced with the mind?  Why is our thinking only obsessed with the physical limitations of what our bodies can and can’t do?  We think it’s all downhill after our physical peak.  Good god, what a downer it is to think like that as most of our life is after our physical peak.  Why keep comparing ourselves to adolescents?  What could become of us if we thought beyond more often?  Thinking beyond creates the freedom.  Think beyond, analyze, and run with it to create a life worth living!  Go forth to live differently and better.  You will not be disappointed.

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